From my point of view

I am making homemade soap. I have been making my own homemade face scrubs and body scrubs for a while now. Anyone that uses my bathroom can see that I have shot glasses of mucky looking grainy yellow substances around the sink and tub. My Mother-in-law instinctively gave me a box of soap making supplies recently. It was full of dyes, oils, scent cubes, and all sorts of powdery substances. All were meticulously labeled, names, uses, how to mix, and such. Someone was a soaper and they gave this treasure away? It's fate, its the universe telling me to put myself into soap making... It's Mom cleaning crap out of her garage and dumping it on me before good will. Whatever the case, it intrigued me. I started researching soap making. There is a lot out there about how to make soap. I had no idea. One thing I noticed, though, is the "soap molds" that you can purchase online are all the same and I have seen them everywhere I see home made soap. There is the idea of making ...

Imagine the conversations you have when you are meeting someone. Your common interests, views, goals. What religion are you? Who did you vote for? Do you want to some day own a house, have a garden? How about kids? Do you want to have kids? How do you want to raise your children? What schools do you picture our future child in? You dream together. You get pregnant and start hoping for a boy, or a girl. I hope she has your eyes and my smile. I hope he gets my sense of humor and your good looks. I hope He's tall like me and has red hair like you. Then discipline should we "spank" our child or use time outs? Let's make sure we stand together on things like, bed time, house rules and chores. No one ever plans for cancer. Who would ask such a thing? What would you do if our child was diagnosed with cancer? Would I stay at the hospital and you would work? Would we take turns? Would I be there for you when you completely lost your mind from stress? How long would you ...

I myself was a sick kid. For a long time we could not figure out why. I just would get sick, start vomiting not stop, pretty soon it would be so bad that if you lifted me the motion would make me vomit. I would get so sick for so long that I would start to vomit thick dark green stuff. At that point I would be taken to the hospital, my Mother would look at me and sigh with a grimace, she'd say some comment about how thin I was and how she was so confused about it all. Then she would leave. I would be in the hospital for about a week, my arm full of IV's re-hydrating me, and nurses bringing me jell-o with chicken broth. My Grandma Schmidt would come visit me once and a while. (My step dads mom) Otherwise I was alone. Nurses in Jerome Idaho back in the 80's weren't exactly nice. I recall horrible things happening to me while I was alone in the hospital, including neglect. Also, it was a small town and no one really liked my family. They had no problem treating my family ...

My best friend and I have been friends since Amber was 3 years old. Best friends from the start, our relationship was unique to only us. Others would have their opinion or say whatever they wanted but they just did not understand. I would hear things from co-workers and other friends like, "can't wait to see you two finally be married." and we'd make that eww-gross kind of face and say "no, no, It's not like that." We would not wish ourselves on one another. We were however, best friends. We were a lot alike. Neither one of us too emotional with the other. Just a mutual respect and love for one another. He's still the only person to call me up and say "I just wanted to hear your voice." One time I was depressed over a breakup with my then "soul mate" and for months no matter how I tried I could not pull myself out of the funk I was in. He looked at me, kind of mock back handed me, and said "Snap out of it! I want my Linda b...

It's November, I am running.... There is this beautiful girl with long hair in front of me, encouraging me. I am barely breathing between the pace and the giggles. Portland side walks... about every 4'th square there is a tree root. You get your hurdling in as well. I am sure it's what makes us a little healthier then other runners. She's punching the air, first her right then her left fist saying "Body blow, Body Blow" then punching the air, "uppercut" Then jumping while shouting "jump"! She's 5'7" a dancer, she is "Rocky" in the Rocky Horror picture show on Clinton Street every Saturday at midnight. As disturbing as it is to see a bunch of teenagers express sexuality, I am proud to see her perform. (in her bikini that she spray painted gold in the back yard.) She's beautiful, strong, funny, and encouraging me. What a good daughter. A beautiful girl. I am so proud.

So, there we were in room 1 on the 10’th floor south side of the hospital. We would get to know it as 10 South. It was triangular, doors shut it off from halls and other clinics, it was sealed. There were clean bald children in pajamas riding trikes and shooting nurf guns at one another smiling. We were NOT supposed to be there. I recall feeling that so truly. This is a mistake. We are not supposed to be here. My daughter is not one of these kids. She’s fine! She has something growing, in her, eating her bone, I know, but that can totally just be some weird growth thing. It’s not Cancer! We have a bleeding disorder, I have a non malignant tumor wrapped around my eye. She is fine. Oh these people will not remember us because tomorrow they are going to tell us that she is fine… I wrote in my blog that night. Cancer unit? I told everyone online, were in the cancer unit. This is so surreal. It has to be wrong. There we were though. Her sister came to the hospital and we...