Alone is the hospital

I myself was a sick kid. For a long time we could not figure out why. I just would get sick, start vomiting not stop, pretty soon it would be so bad that if you lifted me the motion would make me vomit. I would get so sick for so long that I would start to vomit thick dark green stuff. At that point I would be taken to the hospital, my Mother would look at me and sigh with a grimace, she'd say some comment about how thin I was and how she was so confused about it all. Then she would leave. I would be in the hospital for about a week, my arm full of IV's re-hydrating me, and nurses bringing me jell-o with chicken broth. My Grandma Schmidt would come visit me once and a while. (My step dads mom) Otherwise I was alone. Nurses in Jerome Idaho back in the 80's weren't exactly nice. I recall horrible things happening to me while I was alone in the hospital, including neglect. Also, it was a small town and no one really liked my family. They had no problem treating my family like unworthy 2nd class citizens. I got so sick so many times that my whole digestive system was screwed up and my appendix burst. I recall being told there was not much hope. My Mother crying. I asked her if I was going to die, and she said there was a chance of that happening. Going in for emergency surgery. Waking up in a blur going back to sleep, then waking up again in a room alone where I stayed for a week, fighting infections all over my body, including pneumonia.

There was no way I was going to do that to my daughter. I left my whole life immediately, so did her brother and sister. We made her hospital room our home base.

The jokes started, and the laughter. Friends would come over for hours and we'd play card games around her bed. We were not leaving her. No way.

I'll never forget leaving the room and getting water for her in the parent kitchen. I stood there and cried by myself thinking about everything going on, took a couple deep breaths, and wiped my face. I came back and my daughters were making a movie on the big computer screen. I saw myself and laughed at how quickly my belly had gotten "stress swollen" but that was it. We were not leaving her alone. It meant we left our lives behind but we were not leaving her.